Of course, the hot news for today is the great national tax rebate and money giveaway to stimulate our sagging economy. All the news media folks are going wild with it: how much? how soon? how will we spend it? will it help with the economy? will it help win the elections? No mention of who is paying for it. Do we put it on the bill for our great-great- grandkids? Our Chinese credit card? Tack it on the Iraqi War Appropriation? Rob the Social Insecurity fund?  Maybe get exonmobiltexacoshell to kick back some of their obscene profits?

And of course, for this gift to work, we need to have the ignorant masses go out and spend it, instead of foolishly paying off bills or saving it. The simple solution here, it seems to me, would be to not send out checks or give tax credits, but to issue a bundle of plastic gift cards. They could include cards to all of us for walmarttargetmacykmartsears, maybe even one for groceries, and maybe one good only at The Prez’s favorite oil chain’s gas station. And of course, many of us will be too ignorant to use them at all, so that will save our future generations some money. If only the government would contact me before announcing these brilliant ideas… I can help.